"A mentor is someone who sees more talent and ability within you than you see in yourself, and helps bring it out of you." - Bob Proctor
Recently, I’ve been very fortunate to find quality mentors that are helping me in various aspects of my career. Their guidance has cultivated new qualities in me that have manifested significant improvements in my work habits, consistency, time management and so much more. Having a mentor(s) allows you to learn from someone who has done what you aspire to do, as well as receive advice on your own ideas. Well-known leadership consultant John Maxwell once said, “A wise person learns from his mistakes. A wiser one learns from others' mistakes. But the wisest person of all learns from others' successes.” Having a mentor allows you to learn from both the mistakes and success of someone who’s “been there, done that.”
In ME Inc., I like to think of my mentors as my “board of advisors.” I have mentors that coach me in different areas of my life and career. If, like myself, you have various goals in your life, you should have a mentor that is experienced and successful in each of those goal areas.
Quality mentorship takes time to find… and even longer to cultivate. I’d yearned for mentorship since my sophomore year of college, so I’d embarked on a mission to find my mentor. I thought I’d found mentors many times -- in every family friend, every professional that I’d met at an event, every alum with whom I’d done an informational interview, and every internship supervisor. But I didn’t. Not because they weren’t fantastic people, but because we didn’t click on a level beyond the superficial.
A mentor/mentee relationship must be built on trust, transparency and respect. These things don’t come after one meeting. I also realized that before I found my mentor, I needed to find myself and define my life goals. This sounds like a big task, and it is. It took me about a year and half to figure this out. But once I did, I was on a roll! And have been since. This is what I did to find my mentors. These actions were game-changers and I believe they will help you:
I identified and established my goals and values
When I’d begun my mentor search, I wasn’t 100% clear on what I wanted to do with my future. Not in terms of where I wanted to be, but rather the longer term goals that I wanted to accomplish and the legacy that I wanted to leave. Once I narrowed this down to three items, I was able to connect with people who were successful in those areas and they became my mentors.
I found people with fruit on the tree
No matter what it is you desire, there are people who have been successful at it and there are people who have not. It’s crucial to evaluate who you’re taking advice from. Are they practicing what they preach? Do they have the “receipts?”
I started to cultivate a growth mindset
Many times we fail to find mentors because we aren’t open to others experiences that would take us out of our comfort zones. It’s possible to be both ambitious and complacent. When I became committed to growing despite discomfort, and okay with failing forward, I was able to find mentors that would see me through the ups and downs.
I let go of perfection
When I truly accepted who I am and let go of the idea that I had to be perfect to deserve a mentor, I became less militant with myself. My insecurities faded. They didn’t disappear, but I became okay with letting someone see me at less than my best. A good mentor will not expect you to be perfect… just human and willing to try.
I became open to mentorship
Lastly, I had to become open to guidance, advice, and sometimes criticism. I’d wanted advice and guidance, but also thought I knew it all. I had to become willing to be stretched and expanded. When I became committed growth instead of perfection, I became truly open to mentorship.
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